Observed

(A guy watches his sister, Young Charge #2, dance wildly and manically around the living room)

Brother: Drugs are bad.

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Girl: My friend wants to die on a rollercoaster.

Boy #1: Why? That would be freaky!

Girl: She wants to die doing something she loves. She loves rollercoasters. So she wants to die on a rollercoaster.

Boy #1: I just want to die painlessly.

Boy #2: I'd like to be assassinated.

Me: I fantasize about earthquakes when I drive under concrete overpasses.

Their Mom: What are you guys talking about? If I die, I'd want it to be sleeping pills. You scare me!

Boy #2: No, maybe a gun to the head.

Me: We should make this a Facebook meme. "Post your favored way to die in your status. Pass it on!"

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Granddad: Did I show you my arm? (Shows me his elbow, which sports a lacerated bruise about the size of a small grapefruit.)

Me: No! What happened?

Grandma: He got out of the car at the doctor's office and tripped up the stairs--

Granddad: --Lost my balance.

Grandma: Just wham! Down he went. And--

Granddad: --Probably relieved to get away from you.

Grandma: Shut up your mouth!

Granddad: Yes, ma'am.

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